My 2 Cents....

Uh, well

2007-01-16T19:37:00.000-05:00

my mind is so full and I am so tired that I really don't know what to document. Whether it be my boss's boss telling me to shut up after asking me a question and I get two words out of my mouth, or people complaining about who is fixing who's mistakes, or how my boss (who is the best I have ever had, EVER) is talking about bailing on assembly and going back to another division, or the 75 hour work weeks, or the possibility of not getting paid for any of it.

All I can say is BURNT OUT!!

What is in a nickname?

2007-01-03T19:57:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a while, life is just too crowded with things to do these days. Even with a week off, I could not be bothered to document the goings on that need to be shared and remembered. I suck.

Anyway, this tidbit is a few weeks old, but just begs to be put out there for others to laugh at. Whether that is me or Squirrel is yet to be determined; after life, I am married to him.

We've all had nicknames. Some are normal, like shortened versions of our name, our initials, perhaps even some go by thier last name to avoid the common name confusion. I have always been J, which happens to be the first letter of my name. I have also been stinky. don't. ask. It goes back to college and Squirrel's fraternity brothers being, well boys. Always making fun of those they liked or whatever.

This story is not about me, however. This is about Squirrel, who by the way got this particular nickname for his goal keeping dives flying squirrel or squirrel for short. Squirrel has been booger (the traditional Animal House fraternity reference, well that and the last name is a set up to end up being booger), he's been JP, and he is often called by last name alone. Recently he became helicopter man after an ADD episode I documented last spring. I refer to him as captain make shit up, since he always has an answer to a question. Whether that answer is right or not, well, you get the point.

Squirrel has acquired yet another nickname. Just before Christmas, he was working out at the gym and happened to have eaten a lot of garlic the evening prior. He reeked of garlic. The buddy he was working out with made reference to his vampire thwarting odor which provoked an odd response from Squirrel. He replied something along the lines of being a smellkeeper - some word he indeed made up about one exuding the odor of certain foods.

So Squirrel is now known as smellkeeper.

Unresolved Bits and Pieces

2006-12-19T18:03:00.000-05:00

It has been a while since I posted. I am embarrassed to say that I have been doing nothing special just letting life lead me instead of leading my life. For some reason, the hustle of work and regular household junk has really bogged me down. Not necessarily in a matter of not having time to write, but mentally just being worn out.

The house is all but repaired from the car incident finally. What a pain! The insurance companies acted as if we ASKED the guy to drive into our house so that we can have patchwork brick and sod to accompany our bushes that now resemble a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Good grief people, all we want is to have the place look like it did before the big bad Dodge Durango launched the gas meter across the yard.

If that wasn't enough to deal with, Squirrel can now consistantly beat me at bowling. You know the competitive blood inside me just boils and steam shoots out of my ears every time he outperforms the veteran bowler that I am ashamed to be. The worst part is he usually manages to do so half lit.

Work has been full of emotional havic too. Had a worker fall out, actually stop breathing, and another save him. An experience for the books, not one I enjoyed so to speak in the moment. However, seeing the number of heroic acts that day, the way it brought the entire team together and all of the petty bathroom break bull shit fell to the wayside. He is fine too by the way, they never found anything wrong with him other than some minor blockage.

Took a trip home for Thanksgiving. Bear is preparing for divorce, so we antied up with a full dose of family for Turkey day. She and my two nephews have moved into this adorable little townhouse. No more Useless, who has proven to be even more so than ever dreamed. The boys seem to be adjusting well, but will require some reprogramming and true dicipline. While at home we also got a chance to catch up with an old friend, CB and meet her man, Ben. Had a great time and had to keep this little jaunt hush hush from my mom. That would not have gone over well.

There is not really much else going on, no excuses for lack of updates other than laziness and procrastination. Haven't much been in the mood to write, etc.

"You spit on my boobs!"

2006-11-18T10:47:00.000-05:00

Last night was, well, interesting. Some people should not be allowed to inhale the fumes of alcohol.period. Squirrel was at one point dry humping said redheaded drunk girl to the tunes of the dueling pianist's rendition of what I remember to be GNR Sweet Child O'Mine. What a missed photo *ahem*bribery* opportunity?! It was entertaining, but I am paying the price today. No, not hung over; smoked over. My sinus infection riddled head is reeling from the exhales from curly crazy redheaded drunk girl.

I almost forgot the best part. Crazy drunk redhead was constantly lifting her legs to play air guitar or whatever - she did have great shoes, even CB would be jealous of them. Anyway, at one point she leaned over and smothered her friends chest. repeatedly. The end comment was, "You spit on my boobs!" Which provoked two things, a story about wonderbras I did not need to hear and redhead pulling her shirt down daring her friend to spit back. She did.

Some people need not drink.

Michigan vs. Ohio State party today, definitely taking the camera.

On things happening in three's

2006-11-06T10:26:00.000-05:00

If I didn't know better, I'd swear today was Friday the 13th...

So far today I have lost three employees.
1-her husband's eyes swelled shut after taking a medication he's been on for years
2-went into labor this morning and on last report is 6cm dilated and is about to have her water broken
3-fainted on the filthy plant floor while the medical team was trying to move her to their cart. This resulted in having a full size ambulance brought INTO the plant in order to take her to the nearby hospital.

The good thing, everyone seems to be okay. Chaos is definitely not in control here today.

Uterui

2006-11-05T18:09:00.000-05:00

Princess Clairebell requested (read demanded) an update, and well I see it has been a while. My how time flies while you are working your ass off. Since it has been so long, a synopsis of the past month will follow.

Our house has been repaired from the great car crash. I say repaired and not fixed, because the brick work does not match the way I had hoped. It is VERY close, but I just have an eye for little differences in color and such. Luckily, the worst is at the bottom on the corner so it is barely visible now and during the month or so where there are leaves on plants in Michigan, it won't even be visible at all.
Squirrel's coaching season ended today, yeah! Now we have a 2 month break from weekend soccer marathons before it starts back up again. Three teams is a lot, they all did well and improved. Yet I am happy I can actually find some quality time with Squirrel.
Daylight savings time has kicked my rear end this year for the first time ever. Waking up at 4:00am likely does not help, but I feel like a nocturnal creature since we fell back. The minutes of daylight I see are typically on my drive home.
I have not even started my Christmas shopping this year. For those of you who know me well, this is unheard of. I am usually completely finished by Halloween. I foresee lots of crowded parking lots in my future.

That's about it for the recount, nothing exciting here. Perhaps that is why there have been no posting moments.

I do have to say a few words about Gray's Anatomy this week, which was by far the best show I have seen in quite some time. My personal favorite moment is the eureka moment George has when reading Noel's chart and discovers she has two uteruses, or uterui, as he coined them. The curve ball is that there is humanity found in Kerev as he recounts a boxing match in the OR to calm down the second and still premature baby. Christina is in WAY over her head, Bailey is doubting herself and her place at Seattle Grace. McBitch was definately a nice treat, good to know all families, even TV ones, are not perfect. What a great show!

To bad I have to tape it in order to see the ending.

The Seven Dwarfs

2006-10-09T18:35:00.000-05:00

I have felt like each and every one of the seven dwarfs in the last 24 hours. How sad is it that I can relate my life to a Disney movie in this fashion?

Happy - I literally skipped to my car this afternoon. No.idea.why, just acting like a seven year old child happy to be going out to recess. I need meds or something.

Sleepy - Worked 6 days last week, Mon-Sat total of 56 hours. Boo, hoo for me, but the check will be XL and that is good. But all I took a 4 hour nap yesterday and a 2 hour one today.

Dopey - Told the same guy about the same issue THREE times, after the second he looked at me like I was nuts. After the third, he just laughed at me. MORON day.

Sneezy - Sneeze fest at work today. At least 5 times I started to talk to someone and went into sneeze convulsions. If you've never seen me sneeze, it is a sight. Every part of my body participates in the sneeze event, and they usually come in three's or fives. Today was a five day. Urgh.

Grumpy - All morning, not even coffee would eliminate the grumbling mood this morning. This is not typical, even though I get up at 4:00 every day, usually by start of shift at 6:00, I am over the morning grumps. Not today.

Bashful - This one is a stretch, but I have a new employee, I forgot her name twice. I could not for the life of me remember it this afternoon, so I just didn't talk to her until I could check my roster. How sad is that. I almost never have a problem with names, but the woman's name is Burnadette, and she is a 4ft nothing in her late teens, the name does not fit the image. Couldn't bear the embarrassment of asking a THIRD time in one day for her to remind me of her name....

Doc - Based on Sneezy, a SINUS INFECTION is definitely looming. Too bad I have no drugs to counteract it and I will have to make an appointment. Damit Squirrel, beat me to the Amoxicilin again!

Based on this, I am not sure if I need a padded cell or a day off.

You might be a fairy redneck if

2006-10-01T18:29:00.000-05:00

you not only bowl, but with a red *ahem* pink and blue sparkle bowling ball. And who in this household is the guilty party? Well, it sure is NOT me.

Squirrel and I are now bowling every other Saturday. Okay, redneckish like Nascar, but fun none the less. And I'm better than him, so there is guaranteed fun in it for me.

So, Squirrel used his birthday money from M&D to buy shoes, a bag and his own precious fairy bowling ball. I was not present for the purchase, but went with him to pick it up. His choices included several solid colors; a red, black and white swirl (go pack?), and the blue and red sparkle. Except the red is sorta pink :).

This is one he will not hear the end of any time soon, well this and that I beat him again!! PS. I lurve you Squirrel.

Violated

2006-09-27T17:46:00.000-05:00

So, how is it that credit card companies are so smart??? You see yesterday, there were two unusual attempted charges for some $700 to online sites. These were wisely denied as they do not fit our charge pattern and were NOT us. So, they froze our account, sometime after lunch today - random aside: I know this because Squirrel had Mcky D's for lunch, and charged it - anyway....Today, Squirrel spent 45 minutes trying to convince the lady at capital uno to allow his gas charge to go through (he gets gas every freaking day folks, at the same freaking gas station!!)

Here's what I don't get, they realize that we don't normally spend $700 online buying trains or whatever, but Squirrel goes to the same exact station every day and the woman at capital uno did not want to let him charge his gasoline, huh? Squirrel only carries this one card, so there was no other way for him to pay; unless he was going to hand wash cars or collect donations in a coffee cup. The charge was finally allowed and now we are awaiting new cards with a new number because some asshole decided to steel a credit card number and sucked so bad he couldn't even get his theft purchases approved.

Here's the other quandary...I was in North Carolina a few weeks back and I made some purchases while there. That is not typical, so why didn't they flag that activity? We just paid a large chunk of money towards a cruise, which is also not typical, again; why was this not flagged? Don't get me wrong, I am VERY appreciative that they caught this and I don't have to deal with it other than to await a new card in the mail, but how do they calculate "abnormal?"

Now I'm intrigued.

The essence of Schmoopie

2006-09-25T18:16:00.000-05:00

Squirrel makes this AMAZING homemade mac & cheese. It is a TO.DIE.FOR. mixture of cheesy, artery clogging heaven that even when using low fat/fat free ingredients has the same tendency to be gobbled up without the slightest leftover. Last time there were leftovers, Squirrel at them before I even had opportunity to willfully look the other way towards the yogurt on the top shelf of the fridge. Only, the tupperware container with cheesy residue left in the sink as evidence that there was once indeed a bit of heaven there.

We had mac & cheese last night. And I came home to a tupperware container sealed and labeled in the fridge, "Do not eat!....Pickett's mac & cheese." The tamper-proof label covered the seal as if a symbol of freshness. I'm not sure what's cuter, the fact that he actually thought to save the spoonfuls of heaven for me, or that he had to tamper-proof his attempt so he could not change his mind.

Things that make me want to punch his face in

2006-09-13T17:29:00.000-05:00

Not Squirrel. Don't worry about that. My brother-in-law.

Just when we thought things were looking up and they may be able to get past old wounds, the idiot went and did it again. I won't get into the specific history, but know he has made MANY dumbass moves before that caused both my sister-in-law and their two young boys stresses undue them.

This time, the line has been crossed. Just found out that Bear has been to work (teaching kindergarten) for three days in a row without a shower because the idiot let their water get cut off. Now, water is not something that gets cut off after 15 days when your payment is late. This has been coming for a while.

Dumbass bought a $500 X-box set a few months back and then wanted to let their house payment go late, luckily that was thwarted. Priorities are just not right with this one.

So, divorce is pending (since a few weeks prior to this incident). In many ways I am glad, because I know the road ahead may be bumpy, but there is a nice pasture beyond that. In other ways, I know this will be a LONG struggle for her. Please keep her in your prayers. It is going to be hard for her on a teacher's salary to raise two young boys (7 & 8).

Out of Bounds

2006-09-06T16:18:00.000-05:00

So, one of my employees in pregnant.

Before I continue, remember that I work in a union environment as "management" and that according to the union, we are all out to get them, etc.

Anyway, as I was saying, one of my employees is pregnant, her belly button has already popped out...Today a guy who clearly doesn't enjoy being gainfully employed says to her, "You must be having a boy, 'cause his dick's already hard."

FIRED!

Stupid idiot!

Indecision

2006-09-05T16:59:00.000-05:00

It is my right as a woman to be undecided, harpy and damn near unbearable when a big decision is on the horizon. And I am definitely taking advantage of that right, in spades.

You see, a few years back I was head hunted for a job I didn't really want. I took the interview as practice, told them to take a look at their pending bankruptcy and shove the job. But I stayed in touch with the head hunter, or he stayed in touch with me. Here nor there. I recently updated my resume with him and poked at him about moving back home, down south, wolfpack land, AWAY FROM THE GODFORSAKEN MICHIGAN WINTERS.

Quickly, I asided that thought and plowed into my new job at the big G. Love the challenge, hate the constant negativity of production, but overall a good learning experience and good chance to shine.

Well, here's where I am at now: 2nd interview on Friday in NC. Not sure how I feel, other than like an F'n see-saw.

Here's the pro/con list. PLEASE weigh in, tell me I am an idiot, profess an opinion.

Pros on taking said possible job:
- In North Carolina - close to family and potential baby sitters of the future (no there is no news here, just thinking out loud)
- Small, private company
- Michigan is HELL to find a teaching job in for Squirrel

Cons on taking said possible job:
- My family can drive me NUTS even over the phone; inlaws and mine don't get along; yikes!
- Leaving big, public company with lots of opportunities
- Having to sell my house (see below for current state of said house)in a shitty housing market
- Squirrel may have to give up coaching soccer, but may be able to find a teaching job

Complete and total unknowns:
- Is there even an offer, am I nuts worrying about this now? don't answer that....

I am driving myself crazy over this, and I if there is an offer and I don't take it, how do we tell our families that we had an opportunity to move home and didn't?

HELP!

A whole new meaning to drive thru

2006-08-11T17:26:00.000-05:00

What do you say when your neighbor does this to you?

Everyone is okay; the house and car, not so much. Its looking like we'll be dealing with insurance adjusters and contractors for a WHILE. He came from the back side of the house and hit the gas meter, sheared it off of the house completely. It actually ended up off the right of this picture near the driveway.

Structurally, the house should be okay. But there are cracked floor joists and though not visible in this picture, there is clearly some extensive brick damage. The beautiful river birch to the left of the car was hit pretty badly as the car deflected from the gas meter and squeezed between the house and tree, most likely in the air judging from the foot deep hole where the car landed.

Squirrel was in the office (room that was hit) when this happened. He says he thought a bomb exploded or something. The call I received made it sound much worse than it is, not that this is good. The news channel hellicopter flew overhead; the firemen, gas company and police were all here...

I can't wait for my next gas bill. The technicians that replaced my gas meter said the new meter would most likely be well more than my deductible...since I would be paying for the 25' back hoe they brought in case they needed to dig up the yard to lay a completely new line. Luckily that wasn't necessary, but none the less we will be charged for its services.

weekend shenanigans

2006-08-06T12:35:00.000-05:00

Last night we were invited to a friend of a friend's party; she was house-sitting for her uncle....The house was amazing, more for the location, basement and backyard than anything else. A hot tub with a flat screen TV built in and a heated swimming pool both complete with slide for drunken stupid people tricks (and those there were), both overlooking a cozy little bit of sandy beach lake front.

All I have to say is that I have now come to the conclusion that I NEEEEEEEDDDDDD a Hot Tub. Period. But no hot tub I could ever afford would hold a candle to this one. It had seats with jets blowing down on top of your shoulders for a shoulder massage, well and to hold you in the seat as the jets behind you tried to launch you out of the hot tub. This thing seated at least 9 comfortably and there would still be room for 2 or 3 more to wade in the center. Ahhh, the life of a gas station owner is grand....And we were just making fun of the slurpie machines yesterday afternoon. Guess that'll show us.

Squirrel and Jay were competing doing dives for splash height, volume and style like they were twelve, and using noodles as rocket launchers for bombs of pool water like my six year old nephews. Oh yeah, and the cops showed up. Nice. Luckily, Squirrel only whispered that the stripper had shown up; otherwise I'd have needed to post bail.

Amazingly, we were up at 9:00 and have already completed most of the obligatory chores?!

Hot! Hot! Hot!

2006-07-31T18:09:00.000-05:00

Holy Hot! Detroit is on fire...A record breaking 95 degrees with an expected 98+ tomorrow. Oh yeah, did I mention that I work in a plant with no A/C.

Clean bill of health from the dentist, that's a good thing.

Got the cruise booked, now I just need to determine what summer items I need while the sales are on : )...

Again, not much to tell here.

Another one down....

2006-07-28T18:54:00.000-05:00

Another week in the books with not much but work and sleep to show for it...but alas, it is Friday. Nothing bad about that.

Need to remember to book the Feb Cruise! this weekend before the deadline is up. A large group is going, should be fun. The only downside is that it is the exact cruise Squirrel and I did a few years ago. Regardless, groups are WAY more fun. Wanna go? email me for details....

Not much going on in the tiny brain in my head this evening, maybe I can be creative tomorrow.

LOL

On a different lighter note

2006-07-24T18:12:00.000-05:00

I no longer generate enough heat with my thighs rubbing together to start a fire! Too bad my cup size dropped in the process. Ah, the price we pay to rid ourselves of the love handles and excess "soul" in the rear...

I'm down 14 lbs and have hit my weight loss goal!! 90-ish% of the person I used to be : )

Shut up R, I know your boobies don't shrink; not all of us are that lucky.

On a lighter note....

2006-07-21T18:45:00.000-05:00

It is FRIDAY!

yeah.

that is all I have to say.

Doves and Rosemary

2006-07-20T18:24:00.000-05:00

Warning: this post is not jovial and was written to help this blogger make sense of a horrible loss of someone I was lucky enough to be touched by.

I learned something today, a symbolism and old Croatian tradition about the joining of two souls. I don't yet know or understand all of the details and history, but I will research that. Apparently, the dove of peace is a transcendent from this old tradition. Two doves, one representing each family are joined as they are brought together by rosemary (which apparently is like cat nip for doves).

I know this because I attended a visitation today for my friend / coworker that passed away on Sunday from a car accident. Someone had sent a wreath with two doves flying away from each other and the rosemary, joined by a ribbon. Each going their separate way, but still joined. The mother was very struck by this symbolism as Jason was to be married...she insisted on moving the wreath to the front of the room to be nearer the casket.

For some reason, this touched me. And as I drove home from the site where several of us met to attend the visitation together, I balled for no obvious reason. I cried pumping gas. and when I discovered the prayer card in my pocket. and as I type this. Death is a horrible thing, yet my sorrow seems to be more from my own lack of cherishing time and memories.

As a group of coworkers looked through all of the pictures of Jason, his exuberant personality, expressive gestures and accomplishments, I could hear his laugh and see the mischievous smile of ponder. I only worked with him for a year; but knew he lived life, every moment. He was always doing something new, different, crazy, wild, just because. Not really a risk junky, just trying things for the sake of it.

Memories fade, time goes by, things can be put off, pictures taken later, adventures, trips, etc. Life will fly by if you let it. All work and no play as they say. Because Jason was a year younger than myself, and the nature of his undue passing one any of us could fall victim to, I have been overcome with the feeling that I am letting life pass me by...in pursuit of more, better, for later. In my nature to color within the lines, I have forgotten to live life to its fullest, but no more.

Clean Sweep!

2006-07-19T18:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not NEARLY as pack rattish (did I just make up a word? oh well) as those on TLC's show of the same name, but I do tend to show my cheap tendencies and hang onto stuff that I "may want to wear again."

NOT ANYMORE BABY! I spent this afternoon cleaning out my pants, skirts and suits - be gone all stuff that is old, out of style, has a crazy pattern or too big : ). The plan is to do work shirts and knit shirts tomorrow & see how empty the place has become. I can't claim to be truly reformed since a few (I did say A FEW, ie 3 or 4) items that I really Y do fit again...

Retail Therapy

2006-07-18T18:41:00.000-05:00

And a good dose too. As far as I am concerned, there are only two real types of therapy, blogging and shopping. For some reason, my head can be cleared of whatever is bothering me (for whatever short period of time) by the thrill of a good sale.

With Squirrel off coaching soccer, I could not sit at home with the boob tube all evening. So I ventured to Kohls. Where I found two cute tops and a great pair of khaki slacks - SIZE 4 - I might add..Not that there will be any allowable lace beneath, because they fit, they are not tight, but they fit if you know what I mean.

Oh yeah, and I started Christmas shopping. I'm sick, I know...but it is hard to find the little things sometimes. So when I see something, I buy it and put it in the Christmas closet.

Blogger's Note: Dear God, I just sounded like my Step-mother there. Yikes!

Blogger's Second Note: Why is it that Blogger does not like the spelling of anything Blog?

What if?

2006-07-17T15:32:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had something happen in life that has caused you to question the smallest of decisions? What if I ordered desert? Or what if I turned right on red? Or what if I went back home to pick up the forgotten cell phone? The list can go on and on. Seems as though I do this from time to time when something either happens to me or someone immediately around me; for example, when the guy behind me gets pulled over when we are going the same speed.

Today I am having those thoughts on behalf of someone else. A coworker that I traveled with for a year and a half died in a car accident last night. Apparently, someone made one of those illegal u-turns on the highway and pulled out right in front of him. In the act of trying to avoid this idiot, my friend lost control, his car flipped and he was ultimately ejected from the vehicle. He was airlifted to the UofM hospital, but did not make it.

This guy was one of those people you wish every friend/coworker was like, always smiling and willing to lend a helping hand, funny, hard working, etc. He had just given up a year and a half of his life to better his career, has been home two months, is about to get engaged and well, not anymore.

Miss R's banner says the only regrets in life are the chances you don't take...is that really true? Here this guy could have spent another year and a half with his family and girlfriend, or maybe he wouldn't have even been on that road had he not traveled with us, or made only one different decision along the way.

I am just amazed at the decisions of my own called into question by the slap of mortality and sorrow. Should I have kept the job I loved in spite of this opportunity? Should I call family and friends more often? Makes me think of all the things I put off that I could do for what I should do...is it really worth it? Save for tomorrow? There are no guarantees.

Tears. Questions. Reality. but no good answers.

All I know is that I have to say good bye to Jason, and wish him God speed in the journey beyond.

Hmph

2006-07-16T18:07:00.000-05:00

Well, tomorrow it is time to return to work - Yuck! Two weeks off is enough to make you want to stay at home forever. If it weren't for the bills, I might.

Not much to say, just added a wish list of sorts on the sidebar. Mostly because I can never remember things that I want when asked. I figure this is as good a place as any to keep my list.

The Plane! The Plane!

2006-07-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

A sight to behold. Maybe there's something to Squirrel's helicopter watching. This picture was taken on the drive from Charlotte to Raleigh, NC. Thank goodness the traffic was backed up the OTHER way. Never thought you'd see a plane being towed on a highway after using it as a landing strip?

Fun with the new toy (and a decent internet connection)

2006-07-11T08:07:00.000-05:00

For my birthday this year, I got a new toy....but the cheap internet connection at our house will not allow me to upload the images, so these will be the first from my new toy. It is unreal how enjoyable photography can be when you have a camera that has more bells and whistles than your car : )

To the left, Squirrel and our nephews at the park in Charlotte. Why is it that Michigan has no parks this nice? Urgh! Anyway, it is amazing how fast they grow. But two boys are hard work. Before this trip, I was convinced by my neighbors that boys were a lot easier in the long run than girls. Now I am not so sure. If there were a way to bottle the energy, we'd be to Mars already...

Here's a cute one of them at the park in front of the fountain. Adorable. But the education that the male obsession with gas begins before the exit from elementary school is disturbing. The collection of rocks is also news to me. Apparently, this is normal. Hmmmm.

In the pool after the first swimming lesson. Another trivial lesson I learned, is that one can spit water through a noodle like a grenade launcher. The things you can learn from little children. The giggling is contagious and the trouble more than worth it. (Did I just say that?)

Another Helicopter

2006-07-10T09:16:00.000-05:00

Although this time it was a groundhog standing on the side of the road. And again, Squirrel forgot what he was saying as he exclaimed to look, a groundhog.

I missed the groundhog, but did not miss the fact that Squirrel almost drove off the mountain road down a cliff. Typical.

Anyway, we made it to NC in 10.5 hours (but we did leave at 3:00 am!). Now on with the vacation!

Later!

OCD?

2006-07-02T18:12:00.000-05:00

So what is wrong with modifying the landscaping every year? Squirrel has been making fun of me for a week now for my plans to modify the landscaping over the first week of my vacation....His claim is that I'm OCD.

Maybe he's right. Maybe not. I love to putz around outside, it clears my mind and is a very easy way to be outdoors without having to go anywhere else. There's a clear sense of accomplishment involved. When you pull the pesky weeds or move a plant to a better location, you can see the results.

What I want to know is why he picks on me for the landscaping, but when I try and pick on him for playing an online, virtual soccer game, I'm off base.

Box-Head - The Northern Evolution of Hat-Man

2006-06-24T13:53:00.000-05:00

I college, I recall the popular drinking game Hat-Man; where all that was needed to become smashed was a few dice and a funky hat...Last night, I discovered what the north has done with all of that indoor time during winter. They reinvented the Hat-Man wheel, Box-Head as it is called here, is much funnier than Hat-Man could have dreamed to be.

Replace the dice with a few decks of cards (jokers included)strewn on the table. The rules are a bit different, but the goals are similar, get drunk. quick. Granted, the croud was on average a bit younger, but the drunk happened quicker than I would have thought.

The rules are as follows:
Ace = waterfall (which with 15 playing is EVIL)
2 = you (give two drinks)
3 = me (drink three)
4 = whores (ladies drink)
5 = never have I ever (card drawer picks topic)
6 = dicks (guys drink)
7 = heaven (last to raise their hand drinks)
8 = celebrate (social)
9 = bust a rhyme (card drawer says a word or phrase that everyone must follow with a rhyme until someone messes up)
10 = rule (card drawer makes a rule)
J = thumbmaster (card drawer takes over the role)
Q = question (only questions can be asked, no answers until someone messes up)
K = category (card drawer picks a category that everyone must name a member of until someone messes up)
JOKER - Box-Head (card drawer must don a box, which in this case was a 12 pack Coke box with a mustache and eyes drawn on and a large hole for the mouth...box-head must drink when anyone else does!)

All I can say is that I was remiss in not bringing my camera!!

To Know Him..

2006-06-20T17:07:00.000-05:00

is to love him, and be utterly frustrated by him at the same time. I have never met anyone who could get lost in a wet paper bag, just because they were talking on the phone. Squirrel can, and has, many. many. times. When he's driving with me in the car, he will look at me to talk, lose track of where he's going and need to ask ME (nevermind the many things he's almost hit).

Squirrel is a classic case of adult ADD, but he has this "Schteve" way about him (for those of you who have seen Multiplicity in the past, the fifth and most hysterical clone of the main character). I can recall incidents in college where he and another adorably insane fraternity brother of his would act like this character from the movie by speaking of "hibachi chicken" in a childish voice. Just thinking of this makes me laugh.

Back then it was funny and cute. Now, I can't believe him sometimes; he has this quality that keeps him young and unaffected by life (maybe that's the eternal student thing too, but we'll pretend its not). This is a quality that I envy and that drives me INSANE at the same time. Anyway, I am spewing all of this as a foreword to a story that must be told.

A few weeks ago, Squirrel was wrapping up a training session with his high school girl's soccer team, well really the coaching staff...when in mid-sentence, he proclaims...

"Look, a HELICOPTER!"

and completely lost his thoughts about soccer, forgot where he was, and was the epitome of this little boy in awe of the miracle of radio control flight. I don't believe he'll ever live this one down. I'm not sure he should. It somehow embodies who he is, a man going through life who has managed to keep the wide eyed amazement of a child.

Dear God help him if he doesn't figure out how to keep his car from becoming a trash heap...but that is another story.

I like Cheese

2006-06-19T16:43:00.000-05:00

Squirrel is taking over a U-10 girl's team, he typically works with older kids, but young ones are not outside of his comfort zone. Tryouts were this past weekend, and as prescribed, 35, 9-year-old girls equals only two things: squealing and unpredictability.

When asked if they had any questions, one of the girls raised her hand and proclaimed, "I like cheese!" Apparently, this is all the girl really said, several times, over and over. What do you say to that? One's preference for dairy products seems like an odd response to the question on the table.

I tell ya, never a dull moment. Birth control at its best, right here.

The silent treatment

2006-06-16T16:41:00.000-05:00

I am currently the overpaid babysitter for 63 men and women who work in a suburban Detroit automotive assembly plant. A new game for me, but one not without stories to tell.

The work my people do is very repetitive, over and over, 440 times per day, 5 or 6 days a week. Their work is laid out to the pace of where they go to get what, what tool they use and how many screws they drive in what order. It's called standardized work, somewhat like how you fold your shirts or underwear. Always the same.

I had to correct a young man today and read through his standardized work with him, forcing him to follow in the correct order. This pissed him off, he doesn't like the job he has, and he has no seniority, so he's screwed. After a while I came back to check on him only to find that he was again not following his standardized work. I spoke to him three times with no reply. After that I asked him if he was just not going to speak to me. To which he replied that it was not part of his standardized work and he did not have to talk to me.

At least there are some things to laugh about.

The Standoff

2006-06-15T17:44:00.000-05:00

So, I am trying to act maturely after 8 years of marriage. Over a week ago, I requested that Squirrel help me out by cleaning the downstairs 1/2 bath. Over a week ago. I reminded him twice, to which he replied that he'd do it later. So I let it go.

The old me would have cleaned it on day two. But not now! I am going to wait until he figures out that the toilet is dirty. In the meantime, I will walk upstairs to use the restroom, IN MY OWN HOUSE. That thing is disgusting, there are even hints of hard water marks in the bowl.

I am taking bets as to how long it takes him to figure it out :)

No Excuses

2006-06-14T18:54:00.000-05:00

There are no excuses for being called out by Miss R (of all people) for not blogging recently. NONE.

But the rationale I will provide is this:
New job, alarm goes off at 4:00am. That's 4:00 AM!! for those who missed the time first go around. On my feet ALL day long. Drive home, sleep in driveway.

I will say this, the weight loss plan is working well. Too bad the boobies are dwindling along with the love handles and the junk in the trunk. But at least there is an excuse for a new wardrobe!

Political Suicide

2006-05-24T18:43:00.000-05:00

Now that CB has me all pumped up about social issues, I may as well dive in and get it out of my system. Why my mind went from obesity to illegal immigration, I am not sure...but it did.

Maybe it has something to do with the social costs for the two issues...Not that one chooses to be obese, but they do, in general, choose not to make healthy decisions. In the end, there is a price tag for the fallout. Diabetes, cholesterol issues, heart problems, blood pressure, etc. All of these things cost money and drive up the total amount spent on healthcare for both insurance and federally funded aid programs. Statistically, those who need these treatments are not the ones footing the larger percentage of the bill. But, I digress.

My intent here was to rant about illegal immigration. Having spent significant time in Mexico over the last year, I would say that there are definite differences in the standards of living between the US and Mexico. However, I would say anyone wanting to be educated has a very bright future in Mexico. American companies are producing more and more products in Mexico and relying on Mexican domestic labor to do so. I would say that the future for a Mexican national would be brighter at home as long as they choose to educate themselves and work hard.

Coming to the US is the easy way out for both the immigrant and the Mexican government. To say they're looking for a better future is ridiculous; how will Mexico ever stand on its own two feet if they continue to literally encourage the use of the American economy as its crutch? Message from this individual to Vincente Fox: encourage the youth of your country to choose education over illegal immigration!

I cannot even believe that the US government is considering providing social security benefits to those who utilize forged documentation to obtain a job in the US. I see the taxes paid as the cost of doing business for those who come here illegally. True, there are those that work completely under the table and I agree that is worse. However, why reward what is against the law of the land?

For those that argue that Americans don't want the jobs filled by illegal immigrants; get a life. While in the most immediate sense of the statement, it may have some truth, the fact is that millions of Americans are out of work and desperately seeking a way to feed their families and put a roof over their head. It is easier in some cases for a small businessman to pay an illegal immigrant under the table than deal with the paperwork and expectations of an American worker.

I am not blind to the fact that WE as a society created this issue. Americans want and believe we can have it all. We accept all forms of people with open arms, as we should; but we also enable the greed and entitlement that is now the norm in our society. URGH...end of rant : )

Unidentifiable

2006-05-22T17:07:00.000-05:00

The buzz on the floor today was about "her" or I guess it was really "him." At first glance, there was nothing amiss, just a guy delivering material. And then it hit me, he's wearing a jean skirt?! WTF? What is even crazier is that this person, a 5'6" balding, graying man dressed in a short jean skirt and a girly peasantish type shirt that would show much cleavage on a real woman; HE WAS CARRYING A LOUIS VUITTON BAG!

What has the world come to?

Question for the world

2006-05-19T16:56:00.000-05:00

What is the appropriate response when your father uses the term "schmegma" to describe something?

What a small world, or some other psycho Disney song.....

2006-05-19T16:46:00.000-05:00

So, I sit down in my assigned seat thankful to be headed home and immediately grab the airline magazine and hunt for their sudoku puzzles to occupy myself until take off. As I am trying to determine where to place another 7, I am pummeled by a balled up piece of paper. As I turn around to insult the bumbling idiot that dared throw their trash at me, I am greeted by my neighbor from two doors down. Haven't seen the guy since Christmas, and he turns up on my plane from DFW to DTW? How funny is that. Thinking I should buy a lottery ticket.

Muchaboutnothing

2006-05-17T14:50:00.000-05:00

I can't even express how hard it is getting used to not eating out for every meal! Without all of the travel, there is no excuse. But, it does feel good to be in control of my own waistline...and not having to rely on will power alone to opt out of desert. Being at home for dinner guarantees desert will at least be tastefully sized : ).

On top of that, the new digs offer much walking and standing to boot! So there will be absolutely no excuse for not losing the "travel weight." Not that it amounts to much, but we are speaking about vanity here.

On a much sadder note, Squirrel had a student pass away of heart attach earlier this week. So young and so sad. I am not sure what to make of this at all, it doesn't seem right or fair that someone so young could go so quickly.

Must run..

New Horizons

2006-05-14T17:14:00.000-05:00

I am not sure yet how I feel about the new job assignment I start tomorrow. Finding out on Friday afternoon that you have to report elsewhere on Monday at 6:00am is not a comforting feeling. Although I really want this new assignment and am excited to get started, I am not real comfortable with the disorganization of the way it came about.

Regardless, here's to new horizons and new challenges. Wish me luck.

The Power of the Points

2006-05-09T11:07:00.000-05:00

Following MissR's lead, I decided to start counting weight watchers points again in this post travel mode of loosing the weight I found on the road. It is amazing how much I think about junk food the instant I tell myself that I shouldn't have any. So, I have found a few low point goodies to curb the cravings. Pez are just barely a point a sleve- yummy. Gummy Dollar Rasberry's are 2 points for 6. But the Carmello a co-worker bought me for torture yesterday, well that was 5 (oops!). Peppermint Patties are 1 each for the little ones.

This is making it easier to live on HEALTHY foods. It's like my mind forgot that fruit exisited... Hot hotel breakfast of eggs and bacon everyday has been hard to adjust away from.

I am convinced that the public humor will be a good motivator to forge forward, so I will post frequently on this - I hope.

Boredom

2006-05-08T12:03:00.000-05:00

I am not sure what to do with myself and I have only been HOME for 6 days straight. I had a panic attack last evening when I realized I had not packed yet... then I realized I had no flight to catch.

I get to go home walk the dog and see Squirrel everyday. So why do I feel so much less inspired and valuable as an employee? I am so bored today that I have nothing left on the daily to do list and am surfing the web trying to plan a vacation....

So where should I go? Hawaii? Europe? Africa? Carribean? Mexico? Suggestions please....

Roots

2006-04-27T15:57:00.000-05:00

Looks like we'll most likely be physically staying put, but I will be walking through the valley with the shadows....

Word has it I will be moving into an assembly plant, the one from hell. Where, as an example, they apparently had a KKK incident in the late '90s. I am dissapointed that Texas is out of the picture, but thankful for a new challenge. This one just seems a bit bigger than I really wanted, the people in this facility have a reputation of eating people alive.

We'll see.

Help!

2006-04-22T07:47:00.000-05:00

Anyone know anything about St. Louis? Is it a nice place to live?

In my quest to leave Michigan, it appears I narrowed myself to two plants and not one as I had previously thought....Somehow, I forgot about the big van plant outside of St. Louis, didn't even consider it as an option. Now I have been asked to interview there just as it appears something could possibly open up in Texas, where I really want to be.

Oh, the political webs we weave.

It wasn't an earthquake.....

2006-04-12T07:22:00.000-05:00

Hmmm. Well, I have been traveling for almost a year. And last night was my first experience with the other side of the wall.

There I was enjoying the 10:00 news, when there was a faint vibration noise. I ignored it until MY BED STARTED SHAKING...

The good news, the stamina of a black man is about equal to that of a white man : ).

The Shoes!!! Oh my God the Shoes!!!

2006-03-15T21:30:00.000-05:00

Today was a vacation day of sorts, no trucks from our project being built, so we played hooky and went on a shopping trip of sorts. First to the cultural city Guanajuato which I have posted on before, for some silver, local art and a bit of local cusine. I am getting a bit braver with my personal food consumption this trip, trying several authentic Mexican dishes. After this, Don Pablos and I are done.

We walked through the market to see the fruits, vegetables and flowers. The meat here is left unrefridgerated and on the coutner tops, piles of fish, chicken, beef, etc just out rotting waiting for someone to buy. The flowers, they are quite amazing, I have never seen so many varieties on every street corner. Many of my personal favorites too. On the way out, we had quite an experience in the parking deck.... You try and get a Suburban out of a parking deck built for Mini Coopers. With a half inch to spare, we made it out unscathed.

After a quick break, in to the big city, Leon. Leon is very much like home, a Sam's club on one corner and a Costco on the other. However, they have a very large leather district whereby store after store is filled with jackets, belts, purses, wallets and SHOES! There was literally an ENTIRE MALL full of nothing but shoes stores. *CB, wipe the drool from your chin* The thing that really stunk is that I didn't have the energy to force the men with me to endure me shoe shopping.

My Spanish is still really poor, but at least I can figure out how much something costs now. I did forget to bring sunscreen and my face surely shows that. Contrary to the weather channel info on my sidebar, the weather here is 90F and sunny.

Story to be told

2006-03-11T10:20:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in my last post, the events at my wedding (now almost 8 years ago, yikes!) surrounding the garter toss, and it is quite a story. You would've thought we were on Jerry Springer, seriously.

You see, my cousin *who was 17 at the time* is Drop. Dead. Gorgeous. Anyway, she is, tan, slim, well endowed, with awesome hair and a mysteriously defined northern accent. Since two weeks before the wedding when she came into town, Squirrel's entire fraternity was yearning for her. You would've thought she were a dog in heat the way they acted, humping her leg and such. She was no help, what a tease. She flirted with all of them, never had to lift a finger. They were waiting on her hand and foot, tongues wagging the whole time.

When it came time for the bouquet toss, there were many in the mob. Squirrel and I were the first ones to wed, right out of college. Somehow, in this mob, my cousin caught the bouquet. That set the stage for what was to come.

The garter toss.

There were men in the mob who were MARRIED, most of those with girlfriends already sensing the fight to come*"What are you doing in there, is it because of 'her'?" and all*, and mainly the same panting mob of horny fraternity brothers already drooling at the thought of placing the garter on my cousin's leg.

Sadly it took two attempts to successfully toss the garter and have it fairly caught. The first was met with a WWF wrestling match between two of the drooling mob. They literally tackled each other and were rolling around on the ground fighting over this little blue lacy piece of elastic. These two were disqualified.

In the end, my step brother caught the garter.

All in the family they say.

Po.Tential

2006-03-09T15:28:00.000-05:00

I am trying not to get excited, or anticipate things that may not pan out,

But.

I.

Can't.

Help.

It.

I had possibly the best meeting *err read interview of sort* of my life this morning, got a lot of good feedback and threw my hat in the ring for a transfer. The hat was caught with a vengeance...I would liken the response to the garter toss at my wedding *mainly because my cousin had caught the bouquet;* that's a story for another time, but one I must not forget to tell.

Anyway, I have decided recently that I need to escape from engineering and move on to another aspect of the business, manufacturing to be specific. So, I've been chatting up every hoity toity I can. This morning was the Arlington, TX plant manager, not just to talk about what I want to do, but where I want to be.

He was more than receptive, and had nothing but good things to say about my and what he could envision for me there. There are a lot of cuts and trimmings coming, but it sounded very positive. Now we play wait and see.

Lost and Found

2006-02-27T08:46:00.000-05:00

Reading Fyrchk's blog reminded me that I have not updated on my lost key adventure.

Let's suffice it to say I am an idiot! Last week, I was searching for headache medicine in my portable desk *read bookbag* when I felt something oddly familiar. The location was obvious and was searched diligently upon initial incident, but apparently there is a secret pocket inside a pocket that I didn't know about. I had shoved the keys into this secret place without knowing about it and therefore could not locate them for weeks.

How stupid do I feel for calling hotels, restaurants, rental car facilities, the plant, etc having people look for my keys that were lost in plain sight?

Importance

2006-02-21T22:10:00.000-05:00

It is amazing that what seems so important in one moment can seem so meaningless in another. I was just abhorred after dinner this evening, the mistakes at our table of two were too numerous to count. The worst of which, the fact that our waiter told us desert was on the house and then brought our bills apologizing that the manager would not approve the free desert since we did not throw a fit when the second attempt to cook our food was not done correctly. I was all set to come into the hotel this evening and write a scathing letter to corporate headquarters....Then I read this post from one of the blogs on my sidebar.

This woman has been through it all, she became pregnant with a married man's child, she ended up with the father and they moved to London. She has entered into a surprise custody battle with her ex, and now her newborn son passed away.

Makes my dinner experience mute. Huh?

The difference

2006-02-17T18:24:00.000-05:00

between what we say and what we mean always seems to get us in trouble. Why is it that human communication has not evolved to a level in which understanding between parties is a guarantee?

For instance, Squirrel called my power hungry. I believe he meant highly motivated, well, now I do. The exchange was not pretty, and I am still upset at his word choice. But why are instances such as this so darn common in an age when I can type anything into a little box and come out with the answer, or 20,000 of them?

Thunder Snow

2006-02-16T10:49:00.000-05:00

It is snowing and thundering like crazy here. When it thunderstorms and is sunny, the devil is beating his wife, so what does that mean?

URGH!

2006-02-15T18:23:00.000-05:00

Valentine's day on the road sucked.

I need a hug.

Humbled and Inspired.

2006-02-12T20:26:00.000-05:00

As I type, I am flying over some of the most amazing natural art I have ever seen. The landforms of the central Mexican mountains are absolutely breathtaking from 25,000 feet. I only wish that my camera’s batteries had survived the week so that I could document the natural beauty. Clouds glove the edges of the lowest peaks, as if they are reservoir of puffy marshmallows dammed by the rough and rugged terrain. The colors, although muted by the haze, are wonderful natural tones that make one question… How? and Why?

Outside of the context of this week, I am not sure if I could appreciate it in the same way. This week has been full of both humbling and inspiring experiences.

For a rare treat between work and sleep, we adventured on a trip up to El Cubilette, a statue and parish high atop a mountain on what is claimed to be the exact geographical center of Mexico. As I am told, this monument that is reached via an 8 mile long cobble stone road of switchbacks, and cliffs without guard rails is a place of Mexican pilgrimage; many walk for up to 15 days to reach this spiritual place, to be closer to God.

The drive up itself was enlightening. I was surprised by the unexpected drought of the high terrain, the sight of the farmer and his goat heard, the school children walking home in uniform, the school playground that would be considered unsafe in the worst parts of Detroit crawling with children happy to have it, the level of poverty unexplainable. This on the road to a religious monument meant to inspire hope and spiritual growth. The nature of this perplexing. I am not exactly sure what inspired my frame of mind to take this experience in with such examination and not just view it for what it was; a moment away from work with coworkers, driving $70,000 trucks to the top of a mountain looking for quality defects and trying to improve the customer experience in a product that represents American greed and superiority.

Regardless, once we reached the top, I was struck by yet another completely human event. The monument itself is amazing, a statue of Jesus, hands outreached as if to say, look at the world at your feet and be amazed, be human, believe. However, what was more impressive to me than the marble stairways and courtyard in front of the monument, was the old man with luggage in hand, literally stepping his way towards the alter under the statue on his knees, mumbling prayer in Spanish. His journey of the 30 yards or so from the top of the stairs to the alter must have taken him 15 minutes. Clearly, this gentleman knows something I don’t.

I will have to admit that I had no expectations of this job other than long hours, and a lot of travel. I dreaded the Mexico trips the most because I don’t speak the language and the stories about Montezuma and his revenge; I knew Mexico would always leave me out of control in every aspect of the trips. As a control freak, this bothered me tremendously.

This trip to Mexico has really made me appreciate the experience for what it is. An opportunity to experience a new culture, see how a majority of the world lives, appreciate who I am and how lucky I am to be living in a country of such great opportunity. And even more so, question humanity, religion and my place in the spiritual universe.

I have blogged before about my lack of spiritual upbringing and my struggles with organized religion. I by no means believe that these internal struggles have passed, but my quest of understanding and human tolerance has been inspired this week.

I am thankful for all of the thankless long hours, moments of pure embarrassment being confronted with failures on the job, feelings of resentment for those who have gotten more recognition than I. Because I am realizing that without those feelings and this job, my growth as a person would not have been stimulated in the same way.

Cars - The Rebutle

2006-02-11T21:57:00.000-05:00

**No offense, CB, but this is for you, and all of the others out there who turn their respective noses up at certain companies based on media bias. I too am biased, since American wheels pays for my bills, so I will only show facts.

First, check these stats out. This information was pulled from the JD Power 2005 Vehicle Reliability survey, based on vehicles 3 years into service. Over 50,000 surveys are represented. Notice how many American cars beat the Toyotas and Hondas of the world. You won't hear the media touting this information, but these are Americans talking folks, not opinions.
Here are the nameplate rankings. Three American brands beat Toyota, 4 beat Honda; and just look at how many beat Nissan? That includes Hyuandi. **Note: the list is trunkated since I had to creat the image off of a print screen. The bottom of the barrel is Kia.

I'm not picking on anyone who prefers Honda, or Toyota, BMW or anyone else, my point is this.... If you have a preference, no problem. But I do get irritated when people spout "facts," that just don't check out. There is a lot to consider when purchasing a vehicle. Reliability is most definately one of those, but the media would have us all believe the fact set is different than reality.

What is also important to consider is safety and the cost of repairs, rated by IIHS. For this information, I will send you to http://www.iihs.org, since the information is harder to paste here. What I will say is that you will not find a Toyota in the 2006 top safety pics, they are dominated by Audi, who makes an incredible vehicle (and no I don't work for them).

Most car companies build a really great vehicle; do the research and then buy what you like. Afterall, this is the land of free trade and free markets. But, American products support American jobs, remember that too. I'm not saying it should be an overweighing factor, just one to consider.

A plan for Terrorists?

2006-02-09T09:13:00.000-05:00

Corny but cute.

Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American
engineer -- are working together one day. They come across a lantern.
They rub it and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one
wish, which is three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof!
With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made
fertile for farming.

Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can
come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the
Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The American engineer says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more
about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high,
500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in
or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."

The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

Twins

2006-02-06T20:16:00.000-05:00

There was a stuper bowl commercial yesterday with a dude in a Squirrel costume sitting with Ronald McDonald, I wish I could remember who the commercial was for.... It was lame enough I can't, but I thought I'd post the real deal. Here is Squirrel with Ronald. How fitting, its like twins!

E-STD

2006-02-05T10:01:00.000-05:00

Why not?

Four Jobs You've Had In Your Life

Engineer for an American car company
Bank Teller
Shoe Saleswoman
Burger Flipper at McyD's (yes, I believe I just admitted that to the internet)

Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over

American Pie
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Any of the Star Wars movies (except #1, I hate Jar Jar)
Napoleon dynamite

Four Places You’ve Lived

Raleigh, North Carolina
Detroit, Michigan
Dallas, Texas
Lately, in a hotel room.

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch

Desperate Housewives
Grey's Anatomy
Law and Order (any flavor)
Survivor

Four Places You’ve Been On Vacation

Europe
England
British Virgin Islands
Mexico

Four Blogs You Visit Daily

Lillium Inter Spinas
Dooce
Clifford Nose
Most of the ones listed on the side bar

Four Of Your Favorite Foods

Filet Mignon with crumbled blue cheese, Medium Rare
General Tso's Chicken
Cheeeeeeeessssssssssecake
Hummus with veggies

Four Places You’d Rather Be

North Carolina
Anywhere in tCaribbeanean
Curled up with Squirrel on the couch watching a movie
Hawaii

Four Albums You Can’t Live Without

Anything Dave Matthews
Anything big hair band circa 1987
Anything Garth Brooks
Anything Classical

Four Vehicles You’ve Owned

1981 Dodge Challenger
1994 Eagle Talon
1996 Nissan Sentra
2004 Saturn Vue

The taste of rubber

2006-02-05T09:44:00.000-05:00

Okay, blogger ate one of my posts. Interesting, I saw it yesterday and now it is gone from all records?

Anyway, I thought I'd follow R's confessions of open mouth, insert shoe moments. I had a real good one this week...

A bunch of us went to our favorite Texas steakhouse for dinner. Conversation turned to weight gained or lost on the road. While I have found a few pounds, nothing to tip the scale or alter the size of clothing required. Another co-worker was moaning about gaining a few. Now this is a 6 foot gentleman that cannot have an ounce of excess weight on him, he could really stand to gain a few. Anyway, my teammate, Phil, and another good friend/coworker were on the other side of me while this conversation was going on. Both are rather large and my teammate has easily found 15 pounds or so on the road.

Anyway, in this conversation, I said to thin guy: "Its not like you've turned into Phil."

Phil was in the bathroom at the time, but our other heavy weight coworker was there. I really adore this lady, she's a blast to work with and always keeps us in line. I am pretty sure she heard my comment.

I am such an ass.

Compatability

2006-01-30T13:43:00.000-05:00

I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, not-too-generous, not-too-selfish, relatively well adjusted human being!

And I am 88% compatible with Miss R!

1.5

2006-01-29T10:49:00.000-05:00

Eating anything in central Mexico is a calculated risk. Don't drink the water, don't pour your drink over ice from unfiltered water, don't eat raw vegetables, be cautious of fruits, fish is definitely out, chicken and meat are risky too. Refridgeration is questionable and all that is deemed safe is beans and rice (and of course the Jello at the plant cafeteria). Knowing all of this, who can possibly eat beans and rice for 5 days straight? No one I say.

So, this being my third trip to this area of Mexico, I am comfortable with a few restaurants, the plant cafeteria, and of course the hotel breakfast. I adore the fresh guacamole, none better on the planet really. The fresh flour tortillas are fantastic, as is almost every tortilla soup sampled. The enchiladas in one restaurant in the town square are to die for, the cappuccino is amazing. The plant food leaves some flavor to be desired, but is edible. The hotel breakfast is a layout of eggs, beans, fruit, yogurt and cereal. Nothing fancy, but good, safe food.

Or so I thought.

I am not sure what exactly is to blame, but I can tell you Montezuma himself had nothing on the projectiles exiting my body over the last 36 hours. Whatever it was that caused this ailment, at least one of my coworkers was also affected. Trouble is, I cannot think of anything we ate in common with the exception of locations. The best part, if there is one, is how he referred to the ailment, he said it's like going 1.5 and throwing up at the same time. 1.5 is a new definition to me, but I immediately knew exactly what he meant. Like going #1 out of the exit for #2.

Food for thought?

Welcome to Mexico - Have a Nice Day

2006-01-24T22:15:00.000-05:00

As I type, I am sitting in my dark hotel room..... I was reading CB's website when the power went out. That was over 30 minutes ago. I have only my laptop for light and have been desperately trying to locate acceptable clothing to venture out into the halls with all fellow guests to commiserate about the "relaxing" evening we are getting.

Apparently, our neighbors to the south are still not living with reliable power systems. But the hotel has high speed internet and great cell phone signals. Interesting that the newer technologies are more prevalent than older, more standard of living defining ones like power....

A new thought, those already in the hallway are commenting that they cannot reenter their rooms due to the electronic key system. Sounds like a something ready for myth busters - btw you cannot open your car using your remote entry over the phone. Proven wrong this past weekend. But that is another story.

Dre---e----e---ams.... Dreams, Dreams, Dreams.....

2006-01-22T16:26:00.000-05:00

I don't often remember dreams, but when I do; look out! Typically, the ones I remember come from that between alarm snoozes, half asleep, half awake state where reality and dream land coexist. Rare is the dream that I remember from a fully asleep state. Perhaps it is that I must sleep with the TV or radio on in order to stop my brain from churning thoughts long enough to actually sleep. Maybe it is the ramblings of the late night Fox News anchormen and women that drown out my dream memories. Neither here nor there really.

This post was inspired by Crazy Girl's post Tick Tock. Last Thursday night, I had a dream. A 100% authentic, middle of the night, remember when you wake up, think it is reality, dream.

It goes something like this: Squirrel and I had were expecting and had a baby. *um, yikes!* The dream itself was quite insane. Squirrel was putting the baby in its crib as if it were doing a handstand. At some point, we forgot about said baby, and its face turned into one of those doll heads with the eyelids that open and close; except they had those "X" marks on them as if to indicate that the child were dead.

So, I am thinking one of two things is happening. 1- The biological clock has finally been powered up and may be beginning to run or 2- I need drugs.

YIKES!

2006-01-18T09:41:00.000-05:00

On the way in this morning, there was an odd shadow under the door. It was moving around, back and forth and then it crawled under the door. It was a mouse, a black furry creature with wiskers and a little pink nose. The sight of me running must have been good for a few laughs.

Now we have 2 infested work environments, Texas is invested with crickets and Wisconsin with mice.

Guess the Wisconsin = mice thing makes sense with all of the cheese produced here : )

Friday the 13th INDEED

2006-01-14T10:05:00.000-05:00

Well, let's start with the fact that we got up at the crack before dawn to go standby on an earlier flight to get home early. Get home early, I said, not go into work for most of the day! The flight was invaded by a young teen hockey team who were high strung, loud and sitting all around ME! All of the other co-workers of mine on the flight got peace and quiet, a good nap and no banging of the seat in front of them into their knees.

Upon landing, I turn on my phone, contemplate calling a few engineers in the office and decide against it. If they need me, they'll call. And they did. When can we sit down and go over your data, etc. NEVER, you morons, I travel every freaking day! So I begrudgingly agree go in to meet with them since I have just landed and it is only 9:30am.

My luggage was the first one on the pickup thingy, good thing. We waited for the stinking parking shuttle for 20 MINUTES in the RAIN! Then I discover that I must have misplaced my keys in my purse or computer bag. Surely, they are here somewhere. I rifled through all of my bags including my luggage for at least 20 more minutes before giving up.

Luckily, Phil brought me to the office where I had to take my luggage into my desk. Because, I LOST MY KEYS IN FUCKING WISCONSIN!

If I only had a picture

2006-01-12T19:02:00.000-05:00

There is this him/her on the line her in Wisconsin. But different and so much worse than any I have seen before.

He/she is overweight, 50ish, with a long hippie/redneck gray ponytail (approx waist length). His/Her little perky boobies, make-up and hoop earrings make the full package. This one scared me more than knowing someone who saw the taping of a Jerry Springer episode. *cough* Squirrel *cough*

Quote of the Week

2006-01-10T08:23:00.000-05:00

Squirrel and I were trying to get to sleep Sunday night arguing between comforter and no comforter. I was cold as usual and he was hot as usual. I started to say men are from mars.... but before I could, Squirrel said, "Men are from Mars, Women want a Penis!"

True Inspiration

2006-01-08T18:58:00.000-05:00

The first trial week trying to achieve the to do list went rather well. Only one visit to the hotel work out room, but dinner timing got in the way for the most part. I felt bad not calling my father and paying a visit while in TX. But right now I think I'd say what I think and I know I would regret that later. I am still harboring feelings of hurt from the Christmas sock fiasco.

I managed read Bleachers practicaly before the plane took off from DTW. It was good for a book about football. Not typical Grisham at all, but an easy read and a good escape. It did however, really make me think about great people (teachers and coaches) that have influenced the path of my life. Sadly, there have been a terrible few.

Ms. Todd, my junior and senior year teacher for english and the school paper. She taught me to write and gave my written thought some style (although rather textbook). She taught me to enjoy reading and that not all books required a book report at the end.

Dr. Mock, my college textile professor, who really taught me that I can do anything I put my mind to. He believed in me enough to nominate me for Phi Beta Kappa (the national undergraduate honor society), and although a great honor, the fact that he thought of me out of all of the others in class who worked as hard to get the grades, really made me feel like I needed to prove him right.

Of all of the sports coaches I have had, none really did anything to inspire me or make me feel like I needed to prove anything to them. Sad really, all these teachers and coaches in our lives who say they are there for the kids and yet only two affected me personally. Squirrel is what I would consider to be one of those great inspirational people. The kids that he has coached have already shown such. What I wouldn't have given to be touched like that as a young adult.

We saw Rumor Has It with Jennifer Aniston last night, what a good chic flick. I really liked the movie, but it also gave me this feeling of wasted youth. I don't know why, but I have really been feeling lately that my childhood just happened, it really isn't something I look back to with fondness.

Enough on that note, off to Wisconsin.

2006 To Do List

2006-01-01T14:14:00.000-05:00

I really don't want to call these resolutions, because I don't have a good track record with those, but if I call it a "To Do List," my obsessive task oriented self may just adhere to them...

Here goes:

1 - Take more time for myself! Last year, I donated over an additional half a person's work time and seven unused vacation days to the big G for NOTHING in return. Corporate financials are not good, so no raises this year folks! And since I am doomed to spend another 6 months on the road, least I can do is spend some of the time on ME, damn it.

1a - Make time for the hotel workout room at least twice a week. It's not much, but activity makes me feel good about myself. Since I can't play sport during the week, I will walk, run or ride for myself.

1b - NO MORE WORKING ON PLANES! Not that the seats are comfortable, but flight time is for relaxing, sleeping or pleasure reading. No more spreadsheets, reports, etc.

1c - Meals are mandatory, not optional. No more skipping lunch because of some meeting I need to attend. Work can wait. I give them what they give me, the minimum required.

1d - Take all vacation days - no matter what! Donating sanity time back to a company who doesn't respect the work you give it doesn't make any sense. The time off is a benefit and I will be donating no more if it back!

2 - Plan and take a great vacation. It has been 2 years since Squirrel and I have been on a real vacation. With all of the frequent flyer miles I've accumulated along with hotel and rental car points, we ought to be able to take a fabulous vacation without too much budget impact. Warm, tropical and relaxing are definate requirements.

3 - Control unnessary purchases. In=out, one for one from now on. Buying to buy is over, the closets and cabinets overfloweth and a good third of new purchases are not required or utilized properly. I don't need the tax write offs that bad!

4 - Re-do the Guest Room and Megg's room. The couch and teenage pastel colors need to go! I have been proclaiming for YEARS that I will refinish Squirrel's old furniture and create a peaceful, adult space for our guests.

Okay, so there it is written in html and signed in blood for all of the internet to see and judge. Hopefully, I can live up to these, I guess time will tell.

Kleenex

2005-12-30T10:28:00.000-05:00

Why is it that every time I get a few days off of work, I get sick? This stinks!! Since Tuesday, I've been coughing, blowing and swallowing gingerly. This morning there was a friendly little fever to boot. I tell ya, I really know how to party it up on vacation...DayQuil and a box of Kleenex become my best friends.

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-25T22:01:00.000-05:00

I almost cannot believe that it is Christmas day and this year is almost over. It seems like just yesterday that the year was beginning. Where did all of the time go?? Anyway, it was all in all, a good Christmas here in Michigan. We had a white Christmas of sorts (read: 14 inches of snow already on the ground before it rained all day). It is snowing now, that'll make for great roads for the post boxing day sales tomorrow (thought with great sarcasm)...

It was quite nice being here on Christmas alone. No expectations to live up to and no worrying about what time we have to leave one house to get to the other. Absolutely no getting up early Although Squirrel did suggest getting up and unwrapping gifts somewhere around 3:00 am, and I do think he was serious! Megg had quite the meal, here she is in her food coma. From this position, she watched all of the movements in the downstairs of the house for hours without moving so much as a paw. (sorry about the image quality, it takes too long to upload a quality image with our snail-net)
My step-mother did pull one of her tricks again...Now, if I really needed to go to an 80's party, this would work. Otherwise, give me a break!
As hard as it is to believe, she did get me a good gift too, but poor Squirrel only got socks! What the heck is that? I must say it does hurt my feelings that after almost 8 years of marriage, my dad and step mother can't be bothered to get him something that requires thought. My mom outdid herself and likely gave me inspiration for many a gift next year. Squirrel did real well too. He only veered slightly off of the list, and he did remember Godiva is a girl's best friend :).

Merry Christmas to you all.

Feliz Navi-tequila

2005-12-23T09:10:00.000-05:00

A picture taken in Guanajuato, Mexico in a store that only sells tequila : ) I thought it would be fun to post a bit of Mexican holiday spirit. No cows or Federalli action this time, but a great cultural experience none the less. I was a bit more daring on the food consumption and managed to find a fabulous cappucino that is not Starbucks! Here are some more pictures of the latest work trip(we actually had some time to go into town!):

Guanajuato from a church on the hill
The church on the hill - over 500 years old
Some homes in town.

Sexy Names

2005-12-16T09:11:00.000-05:00

My 2 Cents....

2005-12-13T14:08:00.000-05:00

OK. A little background. I am sitting here finishing up a resource file and paper that is due in tonights class on Inclusive Teaching. As I am also on my various soccer blogs, sorry Pickett, I find this. No lie, I think I pissed my pants.

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women
Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day:
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and
send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, so sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent.

There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his
English students: Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY:
first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie
couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay.The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law
Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared
out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why
must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary )

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who
pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to
stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive
explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some
other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)
**************.

(Gary)

Bitch

(Rebecca)

F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.

Things not to do in a meeting....

2005-12-07T23:36:00.000-05:00

Cut your finger nails and leave the clippings on the desk.

1- don't cut your nails in public to begin with, but in a meeting? How rude to hear that clicking noise as you try and speak.
2 - leaving the clippings, now that's just gross!!

Scattered, Smothered, Covered & Chunked

2005-12-03T08:24:00.000-05:00

On the flight home yesterday, I was reading the new American Way magazine (you know you fly too much when you know the schedule of new seat back pocket reading). Anyway, there was an article about the Southern homage to Waffle House. And how true the article was; those not of southern upbringing just don't understand Waffle House. Just like I don't understand the Michiganian homage to White Castle. Both serve greasy, grimy questionable "food" but are what kids grew up on. I can recall more 2:00am servings of scattered, smothered, covered & chunked hashbrowns with friends than engineering equations. The sight of or journey into a Waffle House is a reminder of time with old friends, youth and fast metabolism! But it is only for those raised on the yellow and blue squared signs found dotting southern highways, these northerners just don't get it.

In Texas, there is one we pass every morning on the way in to the plant. Yet, the group will only eat at Dennys, IHOP or Cracker Barrel. They don't understand that Dennys did not create the plate of heaven that consists of shredded hashbrowns SCATTERED on a plate, SMOTHERED with cheese, COVERED with onions, and CHUNKED with pieces of ham. That is a Waffle House delicacy copied by Dennys and other breakfast all the time joints.

What I wonder about is if my younger southern bretheran are also growing up spending their late nights at the local Waffle House, or has this migrated to the 24 hour Starbucks? Will the southern homage to Waffle House die with generation X? or will it forever be a southern passage into adulthood to spend the first drunken 2:00 afterhours sobering up in Waffle House?

Target, Land of PWT??

2005-11-27T09:20:00.000-05:00

Target (often pronounced Tar-schey) is widely thought of as the upscale Wal-Mart. The store is more well lit, has a Starbucks inside, offers shoes and clothing that are acceptable attire, etc. A bit more of a yuppie sort of store than a PWT hang out, one would think. Which is why you don't expect to be standing in the store and hear a conversation that goes something like this:

"Oh, he'll be denied the first time, they've already told us."
"Well, the lawyer is confident that he'll be released on the second or third time he comes up [for parole]."
"Oh come on, he'll never get out!"

Hmmm, conversation about someone being up for parole almost as if it were a discussion over what type of cereal one would eat. What was more disturbing is that it was made clear that they were speaking as family members and not victims of whatever unspoken crime. Talk about out of place. And a bit distrubing that a conversation on such a topic could ever be that casual.

PWT, coming to a Target near you soon!!

Tipsy Turkey?

2005-11-24T11:03:00.000-05:00

Last night was our neighbor's birthday, we did the typical card playing, this time broken into gender rivalries Sticks vs. Cans (Cans are up 4 -2 how appropriate is that?). We way overate on Polish Sausage that should be considered a sin for its garlic content alone. My stomach has still not forgiven me : ). I have not laughed so hard in quite a while...this is how drunk Squirrel was....

We'll be back over at the same neighbor's today. They have sort of adopted Squirrel and I as family since we have none closer than 800 miles from here. I am sure that the remaining 1.5 fifths of crown will be consumed before dinner. Afterall, the Lions are losing, I mean playing, today.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Shop til ya drop!

2005-11-22T20:42:00.000-05:00

It is that time again, time to break out the crystal ball and determine what all of your friends and family want for Christmas! What do you get the typical adult for Christmas that does not end up collecting dust or given to good will? My relatives have not figured that one out yet. They still think the little gimmick gifts at Walmart constitute a substantial gift. My step mother has even been known to give packaged spaghetti noodles and deodorant.

I try to purchase something that is at least in the spirit of the personality of the receiver. Although, what do you get for those with no personality? ie, my mother in law who merely complains and reads (but not good books, only those from the 50% off book stores), or the father in law who only reads and sleeps (again no gift opportunity in the books, nothing purchasable from a reputable supplier). Then there's my step mother, who as stated above gives out grocery items for gifts and has no hobbies or material wants.

So, the struggle has begun again. Somehow this year, I sense a bit less manners in the shopper beside me in the aisle. Just today as I was trying to squeeze by a parked cart as I looked at an item, I heard a really rude, "Excuse, Me!" from behind. I could not believe that either someone who either couldn't be bothered to wait as I squeezed by, or they had an attack of turrets that manifest itself in a rater stern outcry. There are very polite ways to make someone aware that you need to get by, and "Excuse me" can be one of them is said in a polite way. Let's just say that I hope there is coal in her person's stocking this year!

I am hoping for some really fabulous ideas for gifts to the dry souls on my list this year from the peanut gallery. Other wise, I will be employing the closest psychic.

Southpark Self

2005-11-20T18:18:00.000-05:00

Check this out!!

How much fun to create your own Southpark Character. Now I can really go around singing, "Blame Canada!" without feeling out of place.

Things you would like to say out loud at work

2005-11-15T22:04:00.000-05:00

I got this great list from a coworker. I have highlighted my favorites, but I can definitely see times when all could be useful. If nothing else, I will be yelling some of these at my boss as I drive home in the car and relive the infuriating moments of my day spent dealing with him!! Enjoy.

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you' ll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. And your crybaby whinny-assed opinion would be...?
23. Do I look like a people person?
24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
25. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
35. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
36. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
37. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
38. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
39. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

Where did all the common sense go?

2005-11-12T09:34:00.000-05:00

Ok,

I am posting this as a guest poster to Pickett's blog. I really y don't post on my own blog because, well because I am an unorganized loser. To some people we are called men. Anyway, I was listening to the radio the other day, the Mitch Albom show to be exact, an I heard an interesting topic. It seems this restaurateur from Chicago posted a sign asking that "children of all ages use their inside voices". I don't know what is worse the fact that he needed to post the sign or the fact that close to 300 mothers in the Chicago area are boycotting him! Get a life. I am a firm believer that having children is a choice and you do not get to let them run around like heathens when you are in public.

About 2 years ago Pickett and I were in the local Olive Garden and were seated next to 3 "Stroller Moms" with about 2-3 kids each. As we watched the future Dictators run around in circles screaming, we were forced to watch the pure apathy of the parents. Now I don't know about your childhood, but in mine, in the deep south, that kind of behavior would have left me unable to sit for a period of 2 weeks.

So this guy in Chicago owns a coffee house and was getting frustrated with the same behavior. Not to say that he did not have many well behaved children and many parents who were undercontrol enter his establishment as well. It is hilarious to me however that he has been receiving complaints from parents telling him it is "none of his business to tell them how to raise a child", and that "until he has children of his own and can control them to keep his mouth shut."

OK, I will admit I am a 30 yr old man with no children of my own. HOWEVER! I do have 5 and 6 year old nephews, in addition to the numerous soccer teams of all ages I have coached, in addition to the 7th grade social studies class I teach. So you listen here, little Miss "I'm to good to watch my kids all the time mommies", Get over yourself!!!!!

I am sick and tired of parents not being willing to discipline their kids. And no, but a timeout is not disciplining. My sister and I would have laughed in my mothers face if she told us to stand in the corner and not talk for 5 minutes. I will tell you, however, that her wooden spoon did not make us laugh. Neither did the numerous switches I have cut down throughout the years or my fathers belt with holes all over it.

It is a sad truth, but kids these days are begging to be disciplined. They WANT to know their parents, or anyone for that matter, CARES about them. So please feel free to pepper me with comments if you agree or disagree. I will leave you with this however, I understand today's parental hierarchy of two wage earner families and single parents. What I don't understand is that same parent having a seemingly morose approach to towards domming their child to the same fate.

Puppy Problems

2005-11-12T09:23:00.000-05:00

Poor Megg looks like she has a black eye; the left side of her nose is swollen. She acts fine, but looks really pitiful. Apparently, she has a $1000 abscessed tooth (yikes) and will be a few teeth short after Monday's surgery. I cannot believe how expensive it is for animal health care. Now I understand why there is insurance for pets now-a-days.

Greyhounds have notoriously bad teeth, and she has the typical problems. The other thing with Greyhounds is that they don't react well to anesthesia; which of course has me terrified that something will happen to her during surgery.

Other than her tooth, she is completely healthy and spoiled, but not a fan of this vet either. She just doesn't like being prodded at all and has been known to nip at a vet or two. This was no different except that these folks figured out that trying to restrain her is the issue, not the prodding itself. Once they just walked up and did their business, she barely noticed. But she still returned trembling and tunneling for protection.

Poor Megg.

Irresponsible

2005-11-06T11:33:00.000-05:00

How do you tell your parent that they are being irresponsible and selfish? A question I have been struggling with for a while. My mother has always thought of herself first and been extremely irresponsible with money. I just can't listen to her stand on her soap box ranting about how poor she is any more without telling her why she feels this way.

My step-father is disabled and is currently fighting to get social security disability, but has not gotten through the process yet. He cannot really work due to his back condition and other ailments that have come about in the past few years. My mother makes a decent living, not serious bank, but enough to comfortably get by.

Every time I turn around, she is spending thousands on unnecessary things. Within the past year: not one, but two HD Sony Vega TVs, a gym quality treadmill, a five thousand dollar computer system, a new dining room set, and a big entertainment center wall unit, just to mention a few. That doesn't include the increased cable bill or internet fees incurred monthly due to these purchases. Not to mention that there is little if any savings for retirement.

It's not like you can take money with you, but retirement is in serious question for my mother and being the only child, I will have to take care of both of them if they don't plan for themselves. Not that I don't love my mother and want her to be happy, but I have serious resentment issues with her being frivolous with money, while I save every extra penny so I can retire well.

All this would be fine if she didn't call me everyday complaining how poor they are and how she has no money. They were planning on coming up to see us for Christmas, but now apparently she can't afford the $300 tickets to visit her only daughter. She doesn't live within her means, not by a long shot and I don't know how to tell her that she should make fewer big purchases and plan ahead.

Maybe I'm being a selfish only child, but I this has been going on since I was in high school and she made me pay to put tires on a car we shared, or made me buy my own snack food, or squelched on a promise with my father to split college expenses. There are SO many examples, and I am not exaggerating, just ask Miss R.

Public School Woes

2005-11-06T11:21:00.000-05:00

Squirrel has been doing his student teaching for a few months now at one of the closest middle schools to Detroit proper. Apparently, to avoid discrimination cases due to the fact that Detroit Public Schools are horrible, Detriot residents are allowed to go to any school in the Metro-Detroit area, provided they can provide thier own transportation.

This loop hole for parents to put their children into schools they pay no taxes to support is a bit warped in my mind. However, it is allowed and taken advantage of in many cases. A new Detroit transferee entered the class a few weeks back, and this girl is apparently quite a piece of work. She disobeys anything asked of her and is constantly talking in class. Last week, she even took a swing at Squirrel when he gave her detention for contiuing to talk back and get out of her seat and walk around.

The administration and supervising teacher are not willing to do anything. They seem to believe that the parents won't care anyway, so why bother. It seems to me like this is one of the major issues with the Public schools today; no one cares and there is no dicipline. What happened to the fear of God when the words, "I'm going to call your parents" were spoken? Our society is creating individuals that feel entitled to make $100K right from high school and believe that learning is not required. What happened to the values of working hard to learn inorder to prepare for life in the "real world?"

Trick or Treat

2005-10-30T12:07:00.000-05:00

Pictures from a Costume Party the other night. A bit improptu, but fun none the less. Squirrel's Wilson costume went over very well. I proved once again just how bad I am at pool by sinking the cue ball instead of the 8.

Overheard

2005-10-23T17:45:00.000-05:00

Standing in the airport waiting to board, I tuned in to an akward point in the conversation.

I heard Phil say, "We have a rule, no farting while we're kissing."

He was, of course, referring to he and his wife. Not sure where that conversation started, but that was an iteresting point to join in.

Silence

2005-10-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

I have lost my voice, or mostly lost my voice.

No fun at all, especially when folks begin to mention how quiet it is.... Do I talk THAT much??? Seriously.

Fall Foilage

2005-10-16T09:39:00.000-05:00

If it weren't so darned early in the season, I'd say this is beautiful. Right about now, it is depressing.

Attack......Of the Shop-Vac

2005-10-16T09:22:00.000-05:00

Someone has cast an evil spell on me. They have sent a mini shop vac into my head to suck out all of the evil inside my sinuses. Or at least that is how I feel.

My head is on the verge of imploding from the negative pressure in my sinus cavity. Nothing will move, up, down, or out of my head. No hot bath or decongestant or antibiotic seems to be a match from the evil phlem built up inside my skull.

I HATE THE SEASONAL CHANGE!! This feeling is typically a biannual event that I suffer thru knowing that the end is only a few days away. However, this year seems to be much worse and extended into nearly a week now. I am attributing it to changing seasons every week now for the past 3. Texas has not really begun fall weather; whereas, here in Michigan, my maple tree is in full red color change. So, every week, I have transitioned from late summer to fall and my sinuses cannot handle this madness.

All Work and No Play

2005-10-07T19:07:00.000-05:00

Makes for a very boring Pickett.

This job is KILLING me....I cannot even muster the strength to go out to eat this evening (and I did not even work today). Granted it is COLD outside and I prefer to hibernate during winter weather, but I just can't seem to generate any energy over the weekends at all lately.

I haven't swept the kitchen floor in WEEKS (and if you know me at all the neat-nick/controll freak tendencies of mine are either fading, or I am losing my mind). I don't even mind that Squirrel proved he can keep a clean house during the first travel week and since has downgraded on an inverse logrythmic scale. He seems to believe that the office is his personal laundry hamper and that kichen chairs are for belts and shirts to hang on. And the kitchen, well, I don't think the old Theta Chi bathrooms would scare me as much. Yet, I really don't care, or have the energy to care.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Squirrelly Do

2005-10-07T19:03:00.000-05:00

Squirrel thinks his hair is getting too long. I don't really care for it when he gets it cut short, bit to Army (sorry CB). Anyway, I was merely showing Squirrel that his hair is not even long enough to put a pony tail holder in. This is the result. A bit Beccam, a bit Dennis the Menace.

Picture of the Short Bus Toes

2005-10-07T16:44:00.000-05:00

See, here they are... Short Bus Toes . I told you they were wierd....

They've Got WINGS!!

2005-09-28T10:23:00.000-05:00

Nothing, and I mean nothing is small in the state of Texas. The plant has this cricket investation that yesterday showed itself with new avengence. I squeeled when I discovered that itch on my calf muscle was in fact a live cricket that had crawled up my pants leg..... This one was purched on someone's rear for quite a while, when shewed away, it FLEW! Giant Crickets WITH WINGS, Darwinism at its best.

Short-Bus Toes

2005-09-25T18:17:00.000-05:00

Some of us have pretty toes, some have fat toes, some have stubby toes, some have uneven toes; Squirrel has short-bus toes. The middle three take a right turn at the first knuckle away from the foot like they don't like the way the big toe smells or something. There could be something to that :)

From the mouth of Dooce - to Squirrel's ears...

2005-09-22T08:53:00.000-05:00

The verbage in Dooce's post:

“It’s really hot out here.”
“Then why do you have jeans on?”
“Why are you ending sentences with prepositions?”
“Why do you have jeans on, motherfucker?”

My thoughts:

Has Dooce been evesdropping on Squirrel and I? This is classic, and a conversation that Squirrel and I have daily (when I'm home at least)!

It's not just me?! - Thank God!

Think before you speak!!

2005-09-22T08:31:00.000-05:00

Apparently, I need to start fundraising.... Last night while standing on the assembly line, minding my own business, a program executive approaches me with a rather large grin. She opens her mouth to tell me that I, yes, me, specifically, by name, could quite possibly appear in the press as an example of how small car advocates, women, and young professionals will like this new product.

About 4 months ago, I had the opportunity to drive one, which by the way is AMAZING, and I hate large trucks with a passion because I have no (and I do mean NO) confidence in my depth perception and driving a small bus is no way to feel comfortable with that. After my driving experience, this same program executive and the VP of the corporation in charge of this product asked me my thoughts. To which I replied (without much thought - mom always told me to think before I speak) that I loved the way they ride and would buy one... Both true.

I never thought they'd make such a big deal about it, or remember it is such detail; but I certainly never thought I'd become a topic of conversation during the press reveal....

However, I cannot afford one, would and will ARE NOT THE SAME... Now, the likelihood that I will be mentioned by name, or at all is very small. Still I feel like I have to either find a new job or buy one. Hopefully, I get a really big raise.

Bang Head HERE!!!

2005-09-19T16:58:00.000-05:00

For a "vacation" day, today has really not gone my way. For starters, I spent a great deal of time on the phone working (some my fault, some not).

Then, Phil booked our next trip to Mexico, for which we must travel Continental, because American was booked up...Doah! We're on the 90 day American Platinum challenge, this will hurt. I'm like an addict with these miles; Miles, Need Miles NOW!!

I negotiated to buy 2 place settings of my mother's discontinued flatware pattern from a woman on eBay. Instead of asking her where to mail the check, I foolishly ask her to post on eBay for me to buy. I missed the item by about 5 minutes, someone else bought it out from under me....urgh. Not to mention that it was a really good deal AND I could not buy 2 knives alone for that price on those stupid replacement sites. (did I mention that this is ALL my mother wants for birthdays, Christmas, etc until it is complete?) I was also outbid during the last minute of another auction I was bidding on..

The weather sucks, it was supposed to be sunny and nice; instead I get cloudy, cool and misty. Which makes for one giant sinus headache.

Now that I have droned on here about my day, I'm going to go bang my head against the wall.

True Love

2005-09-17T11:12:00.000-05:00

Last night, Squirrel and I were on the couch watching a movie. We were both laying down, my head in his lap. Suddenly, Squirrel let one rip. It was very loud and I swear I must have jumped 5 feet in the air. We both burst into uncontrollable laughter. All I could muster was, "I think it was moist!!!"

Reflections

2005-09-12T19:37:00.000-05:00

Last night, I chose to watch the 9-11 documentary The Flight that FOUGHT Back. Not at all what I expected, but a truly enlightening film detailing the incredible heroism and courage displayed by the 40 Americans aboard United Flight 93 that fateful day.

This film brought to light in my own mind just how much this one series of events has changed us as Americans. I can recall vividly just how that dreadful day unfolded in my own life, and just how I discovered what was going on. Images are ingrained into my head of a coworker standing at their desk on the phone shouting, "A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center!"

Personally, I feel a much shallower sense of security in the American border than before 9-11. I am more thankful than I would have been before to the soldiers, firemen & firewomen, police men & women who have and continue to protect us every day. It really makes me realize how irrelevant that my life and job really are in the grand scheme of things.